Clarification

My thoughts betray me. My last entry about my unlife need clarification. Even though I do feel at times my unlife being pointless and monotonous there have been great times. I dont remember having a happy any life...its been hard and rocky and tiring. But I failed to emphasize the best things that have ever happened to me....in my mortal life, though memories are fading slowly into oblivion, there was my family. Caresse especially, my mother, Nerise, mostly and of course the one female that has been with me since the beginning, DemonRide...and then my unlife...Trina and the boys. At one time, Julian and Katia but they have their own lives and do they even think about me....I doubt it.....brats. There is nothing else that matters anymore but Trina and my boyz and I will strive to make Trina happy because making her happy, makes me happy. When I did leave for that short period of time, I was miserable, yes, :::sighs::: I admit it alright? I even had a chance of rebuilding a love again but it just wasnt right...I had the greatest love and chose to leave. Now I have returned and I have been assured I am moving in the right direction. :::thinks about that little talk he had with his wife::: We actually talked, could this bad boy be growing up? :::thinks a moment::: NAH! I guess I'll alwayz feel trapped in my monotonous life but its comfortable I will admit that and I may express my agitation or my boredness :::thinks, is that a word?:::: but Ive been on the other side of the fence, where I thought the grass was greener. Found out is was astroturf and *that*, dear journal is true misery.