In looking at all my past entries, I see I am so inconsistent....just like my unlife. I really do try to keep up and just between you and me journal, I have taught a few kine a thing or two, some had hard lessons to learn and well, now they are not alive but I never said they wouldnt pay for their ignorance. And so here I sit, thinking about all of my deeds, recent and past and wondering....can there really be redemption for someone like me? One who goes out night after night, feeding and frolicking in their pain and death? I dont know journal, I saw a program once where the vampire was redeemed, he reached golconda and his body caught up with his age. He had to die again but he was given redemption...::::chuckles::: scripts sure can tease, surely its not THAT easy and Im not about to test it out, no way, I'll bide my time. Im sure I will have plenty more near-death callings cuz Im not done pissin' peeps off!
And then there is Care, my sweet beautiful Care. Still skittish at all the feeding. Oh, the sweet delicious pain I put her through and yet, she still loves me beyond means, she amazes me. I know she thinks about redemption much more than I do, she's even gone so far as to slip into conversation one night that she believes we are part faerie. I aint no faerie!! HELL NO! She goes on and on about being Sidhe. I keep reminding her that we are French not Irish but she's persistent, when she gets an idea in her head it never comes out. So I do alot of ....yes dear, whatever you say dear and roll my eyes. Well if I am part fae then I would simply have to be the Unseelie King.....plain and simple cuz there aint no way Im taking orders from a faerie and I can be pretty cold, dark and evil!
And if this is actually so, my blood is more screwed up than I thought!
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