The Crinos Within

It had been a while. For decades I'd learned how to suppress my rage and not shift for fear of recognition from both garou and kindred society. There was a time when the rarity of my kind went into hiding and very few were able to supress their beast. My days as kindred has not only helped in the suppression of my raging crinos but I've also forgotten much of my mortal past. Now with the arrival of Jailiista I must remember, remember my past. A whole new set of rules, a whole new setting and endless realms with endless domains. My slumber disturbed, I awoke between both Caresse and Kara, the nights events leaving the three of us drained and passed out on Kara's bed. Instead of just laying there staring at the ceiling I kissed each one on the head and slipped from the bed.

I stood there in front of that mirror for a pause before moving out of Kara's room, the purple sash covering it fully - the antique that Kara mentioned she wished to show me. My Blue always the curious one. I guess being over 2000 years old you get pretty bored. She acquired the looking glass from a Tremere who enhanced it (obviously thru thaumaturgy) with the ability of Umbral Walk. My little Alice in Wonderland. I know I should be destroying the damn mirror, Kindred arent supposed to be messing with the Umbra and my Get pulls at me to protect all that is sacred to us but my Blue seemed so thrilled with it, my gangrel side won out. I just hope she doesnt go in further than she is able, I'd hate for her to be trapped in a self made hell she cant get out of. And when I enter the Umbra, my Get in all its rage will hunt her down and destroy Kara for being where she is not supposed to be. Tonight's walk was a sure indication of that and not exactly pleasant. I will briefly jot down the bits and pieces of the nights events knowing that anything that goes on in the gauntlet alters any reality, how it alters is yet to unfold.

I remember entering the gauntlet, the pull into the penumbra strong that you need only let go to get there. It was a bit difficult for me at first, my kindred traits rejecting all my surroundings but once there I felt a serene calmness in that pitch darkness. My garou tongue dominant as I called out for Kara only to hear it as a snarl that escaped me and the pain started. I felt it creeping in at the base of my spine and all I could do was scream. My screams heard as only whelps and woeful growls that escaped me. I hadnt felt the shift in decades, the pain immense as my skin stretched and my bones elongated bringing me to all fours. For what seemed like hours I shifted from homid, to glabro in which I snarled to Kara to find the portal and go back. I couldnt explain any more for the pain gripped me again and I shifted into crinos...my rage filled state. Losing myself in my rage I see nothing, I fear nothing and my carnal lust potent and needful. I remember vividly my lust as I smelled Kara's ancient blood calling to me as well as the anger at seeing the glowing red of warning all around of the intruder alert. I also remember hearing a dirge and feeling anger as it screamed at me in my native tongue and having the urge to kill it, to quell its irritating noise as it fell from the lips of the tainted wrym-infested instruder. And my anger and pain lifted and offered up to the Celestine, the Luna. And the last thing I remember was the icy cold grip of the gauntlet and my steaming body, naked and on the floor. For those brief moments, I was mortal again. My heart beat, my veins pulsed with life and my lungs gasped for the air I have not felt in decades.

As I laid there, drained, on the floor of Kara's room, I saw the same robed figure approach within that mirror again as it did before we left and in almost a loving and adoring way, Kara kissed the mirror and the robed figure that reached its skeletal hand out for her. Thanatos, I remember his name, he that rules the Umbra he walks. He said something to her in the garou language..."look after him". I didnt know who he referred to but I assumed it was me and we all know what happens when we assume. If it was me he referred to then, why would I need any looking after? At that moment in time I remembered thinking that Kara was my Queen Mirror and her curiosity within the shadowed home of my ancestors overwhelmed me with a renewed love for her. It was so real, so vivid and so alluring. I will go back, need to go back and learn to control my domain there. Just not sure if Kara should go in with me again at least not together or before the time I get a grip on my control once again. Before that, I cant guarantee she will remain alive for long and I would be devastated if anything happened to my "like a wife".

I think sleep is finally winning out...until later journal.